“The pandemic came and it isolated me. It was good. Even with my parents.”

The pandemic came at a bad time for me, I had to go out so many times to deal with all the bad things that had happened to me between December and February.

I had just ended a relationship where I wasn’t myself—where I didn’t like that person, but I wanted to prove to myself and everyone that I could be a “good girl.”

This plus ending many long-standing friendships, along with disrespect and little appreciation from other friends, leaves anyone tense.

The pandemic came and it isolated me. It was good. Even with my parents.

It’s obvious that I missed being truly alone —I’ve adopted a time-frame from 3:00 p.m. to 7 a.m.—many hours in absolute silence and so many more  sleeping as the world runs.

I don’t remember a lot from the online classes. I remember doing a great job about JFK and little else.

I spent a lot of time on calls and playing with friends. Nothing new — I just exchanged the time I spent in coffee shops for… online socializing.

I had time to think. I spent a lot of time being sad— sometimes because I knew the world was suffering, and others because I’d try to figure myself out.

I swore to be honest with everyone and, above all, myself. Especially in relationships. And I have swore to always be myself—even if I often find myself terrible. We all do the same.

I had thoughts of escaping and sometimes about killing myself. A lot more about escaping. But those, I’ve always had them. I never really know why, but I deal with them and keep going.

Even now when “everything is fine” I have them — with this I want to indicate that I felt more “stuck” than usual – but more because i am the “center of attention” of the whole house.

Around May, I began to feel suffocated. My mother and grandmother were always close to me, without giving me any privacy. I am very individualistic and did not react well.

Having a routine and going out helped a lot. Since the middle of May it has “everything” normal, I was in a good place in my life, I didn’t felt “stuck“.

I don’t know what else to say — I stopped using social networks, I suppose it was because there was nothing that interested me.

The pandemic gave me a lot of time for self-reflection. And I really needed I was able to re-meet in many ways and move on with my life. In the end, it wasn’t bad times. It was just times of change. And that’s it. I hope I helped.